Scintillating Jewelled Scuttling Crab
A breathtaking, gem-encrusted crustacean brought forth by the natural forces of Vogsphere to compensate for the evolutionary blunder of the Vogons. Every year, the Vogons import twenty-seven thousand of them to smash to bits with iron mallets.
Creature Profile: Scintillating Jewelled Scuttling Crab
"Meanwhile, the natural forces on the planet Vogsphere had been working overtime to make up for their earlier blunder. They brought forth scintillating jewelled scuttling crabs, which the Vogons ate, smashing their shells with iron mallets; tall aspiring trees of breathtaking slenderness and colour which the Vogons cut down and burnt the crab meat with; elegant gazelle-like creatures with silken coats and dewy eyes which the Vogons would catch and sit on. They were no use as transport because their backs would snap instantly, but the Vogons sat on them anyway."
— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 5
The Scintillating Jewelled Scuttling Crab is an iridescent crustacean native to the shores of Vogsphere. Together with Vogsphere's tall aspiring trees of breathtaking slenderness and colour and its silken-coated, dewy-eyed gazelle-like creatures, the crab was brought forth by the planet's natural forces working overtime to compensate for their earlier evolutionary mistake in allowing the Vogons to crawl out of the primeval seas.
Vogon Culinary Brutality & The Annual Import
Despite their dazzling, gem-like carapaces, the crabs have suffered for millennia at the hands of Vogsphere's dominant sapient species:
- Pre-Spaceflight Harvesting: On ancient Vogsphere, the Vogons harvested the crabs in vast numbers, smashing their jewelled shells with iron mallets and cutting down the planet's breathtakingly slender, colourful trees to burn as firewood to cook the crab meat.
- The Twenty-Seven Thousand Annual Quota: Even after discovering interstellar travel, abandoning Vogsphere for the Megabrantis Cluster, and attempting to acquire learning, style, and social grace as the backbone of the Galactic Civil Service, the modern Vogon remains little different from his primitive forebears. Every single year, the Vogons import twenty-seven thousand scintillating jewelled scuttling crabs from their native planet and while away a happy drunken night smashing them to bits with iron mallets.
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