Encyclopaedia Galactica
The monumental, dry, immensely costly standard repository of all galactic knowledge. Vastly more solid than the Guide, but contains no large friendly letters telling you DON'T PANIC.
Galactic Publication: Encyclopaedia Galactica
The Encyclopaedia Galactica is the venerable, sprawling, multi-thousand-volume compendium of all established knowledge across the known galaxy. Stored on thousands of gold-plated optical micro-spools and bound in heavy simulated leather and durasteel, it is the darling of academic institutions, government libraries, and individuals who enjoy being bored to tears.
As noted in the introduction to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
"In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitchhiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects:
First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly, it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover."
Historical Definition of Robots & The Sirius Marketing Division
- The Classical Definition: The Encyclopaedia Galactica soberly defines a robot as "a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man."
- The Sirius Slogan: In contrast, the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation marketed robots as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With."
- The Time-Warp Edition: Curiously enough, a future edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that fell through a time warp from a thousand years in the future dispensed with its usual academic restraint, defining the marketing division of Sirius Cybernetics as "a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came"—verifying the prediction originally made in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Sober Definitions: A Comparative Study
To illustrate the difference in tone between the two publications, consider their respective entries for everyday galactic essentials:
On Alcohol:
- The Encyclopaedia Galactica:
"It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms."
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
"It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards."
As the narrative dryly concludes after presenting the Guide's full recipe: "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than The Encyclopaedia Galactica."
On Towels:
- The Encyclopaedia Galactica:
"A rectangular piece of absorbent fabric used for drying or wiping."
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
"A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have... Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
Scholar's Utility
While lacking the warmth, flair, and cheapness of the Guide, the Encyclopaedia Galactica is undeniable in its exhaustive encyclopedic breadth, fetching premium prices among wealthy collectors and galactic archivists on Damogran and Trantor.
The Celestial Home Care Omnibus
The quintessential manual of interstellar domestic maintenance. Famous for noting that holding bread over a starship engine for three minutes burns one side while freezing the other solid.
Fifty-three More Things to do in Zero Gravity
The wildly popular illustrated sequel to Fifty-One Things to do in Zero Gravity. Sells rather worse than the Guide, but vastly better than advanced Vogon poetry anthologies.