Point of Interest Dossier: The Horse and GroomCopy Anchor Link

"Six pints of bitter," said Ford Prefect to the barman of the Horse and Groom. "And quickly, please, the world's about to end."
The barman of the Horse and Groom didn't deserve this sort of treatment, he was a dignified old man. He pushed his glasses up his nose and blinked at Ford Prefect. Ford ignored him and stared out of the window, so the barman looked instead at Arthur, who shrugged helplessly and said nothing.
So the barman said, "Oh yes, sir? Nice weather for it," and started pulling pints.

— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 2

Establishment OverviewCopy Anchor Link

Located in the village of Cottington in the English West Country on planet Earth (Sol III), The Horse and Groom was a respectable, traditional English public house. It featured brass horse brasses mounted on dark oak beams, a gently ticking clock, patterned carpet that had absorbed forty years of spilled mild ale, and an aura of unflappable domestic tranquility.

In the chronicles of galactic history, it is revered as the staging ground for the final lunchtime session in terrestrial history.

The Six-Pint Protocol & Muscle RelaxantsCopy Anchor Link

Shortly after midday on the Thursday of Earth's demolition, Ford Prefect steered a dazed Arthur Dent through the pub doors straight from the mud outside Arthur's House:

1. The Order & The Arsenal Match: Ordering six pints of bitter—three for Arthur, three for Ford—because the world was about to end, Ford stared out the window while the dignified old barman pulled the pints. Attempting polite conversation, the barman asked if they were going to watch the football match that afternoon. When Ford said there was no point, the barman asked if it was a foregone conclusion with "Arsenal without a chance?" When Ford repeated that the world was about to end, the barman peered over his glasses at Arthur and remarked that it would be a "lucky escape for Arsenal if it did," prompting Ford to look back in genuine surprise, frown, and reply, "No, not really."
2. The Hopeful Regular: A man sitting next to Ford at the bar looked at the two men, looked at the six pints, performed a swift burst of mental arithmetic, arrived at an answer he liked, and grinned a stupid, hopeful grin at them. Ford told him to get off ("they're ours"), delivering a glare that would have made an Algolian Suntiger get on with what it was doing.
3. The Five-Pound Note: Ford slapped a five-pound note (Small Green Pieces of Paper) onto the bar and told the startled barman to keep the change because he had ten minutes left to spend it, causing the barman to simply walk away for a bit.
4. Lunchtime, Reader's Digest & Muscle Relaxants: When Arthur protested "Three pints? At lunchtime?" (causing the hopeful man next to Ford to grin and nod happily), Ford uttered the immortal maxim: "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." Arthur dryly suggested Ford send that in to the Reader's Digest, noting "they've got a page for people like you." Ford insisted the three pints (along with packets of salted peanuts purchased shortly after) were a necessary muscle relaxant.
5. Betelgeuse & Thursdays: Over his beer, Arthur wondered aloud whether he had done anything wrong that day or if the world had always been like this while he was too wrapped up in himself to notice. Having known Arthur for five or six years, Ford tried to explain that he was not actually from Guildford, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse. When Arthur shrugged in a so-so way and asked why Ford thought that was the sort of thing he was likely to say, Ford gave up and told him to drink up. Arthur gave the rest of the pub a second wan smile—earning frowns from the patrons and a wave from one man telling him to stop smiling at them and mind his own business—before sinking low over his beer and muttering to himself: "This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

The Crash, The Subliminal Signal, and "Last Orders, Please"Copy Anchor Link

Minutes later in Chapter 3, as Ford's Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic began to wink more quickly on top of the Marks and Spencer towel in his satchel, Ford suddenly asked Arthur if he had a towel with him. Struggling through his third pint, Arthur had given up being surprised. At that moment:

1. The Rumbling Crash: A dull rumbling crash from outside filtered through the low murmur of the pub, the sound of the jukebox, and the sound of the man next to Ford hiccupping over the whisky Ford had eventually bought him. When Ford remarked that they hadn't started yet and that it was "probably just your house being knocked down," Ford's spell was broken. Checking out the window, Arthur shouted "Damn their fun!" and bolted out of the pub furiously waving a nearly empty beer glass—making no friends at all in the pub that lunchtime.
2. Four Packets of Peanuts & The 600-Light-Year Signal: Turning quickly to the barman, Ford asked for four packets of salted peanuts ("twenty-eight pence if you'd be so kind") and handed the barman a second five-pound note, telling him to keep the change. Looking from the fiver to Ford, the barman suddenly shivered and reeled, hit by a shocking, incomprehensible sense of distance. In moments of great stress, every life form gives out a tiny subliminal signal communicating how far it is from its birthplace; while no one on Earth can be further than 16,000 miles from their birthplace, Ford was under great stress and had been born 600 light-years away in the near vicinity of Betelgeuse.
3. The Paper Bag & The Raucous Laugh: Filled with a sudden sense of respect and almost awe, the barman whispered "Are you serious, sir? You think the world's going to end?"—silencing the entire pub. Recovering his flippest manner, Ford gaily estimated it would happen in less than two minutes and admitted there was nothing they could do while stuffing the peanuts into his pocket. Someone in the hushed bar laughed raucously at how stupid everyone had become. Meanwhile, the sozzled man next to Ford weaved his eyes up from his whisky and remarked that in the army they had been told that if the world was going to end they were meant to lie down or put a paper bag over their head or something. When the barman asked "Will that help?", Ford gave him a friendly smile, said "No," and left with a wave.
4. Evaporation & Last Orders: After a moment of silence, the man with the raucous laugh laughed again—to the loathing of the girl he had dragged along to the pub over the last hour, who never got the satisfaction of knowing that in a minute and a half he would evaporate into a whiff of hydrogen, ozone, and carbon monoxide, as she would be too busy evaporating herself to notice. Checking his throat, the barman heard himself say: "Last orders, please."

Sensory Ambiance & ArchitectureCopy Anchor Link

• Cask Bitter: Traditional English bitter ale drawn from cellar casks through brass handpumps into thick dimpled glass pint tankards.
• The Regulars: A handful of retired villagers quietly working through the crossword or nursing half-pints of cider, completely oblivious to the Vogon Constructor Fleet decelerating in the upper atmosphere.
• The Bar Counter: Sticky polished mahogany where Ford laid out his Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic, monitoring the approaching demolition ships while finishing his third pint.

Legacy Across the Western Spiral ArmCopy Anchor Link

Following the demolition of Earth to make way for Hyperspatial Express Route 42, The Horse and Groom achieved mythical status throughout the galaxy:

• The "Six Pints & Peanuts" Toast: Seasoned hitchhikers transiting Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha who find themselves facing imminent disaster invariably toast the pub with three pints of cellar-temperature bitter and a handful of peanuts in homage to Ford and Arthur's final earthly lunch.