Character Dossier: Marvin the Paranoid AndroidCopy Anchor Link

"In one corner a robot sat humped, its gleaming brushed steel head hanging loosely between its gleaming brushed steel knees. It too was fairly new, but though it was beautifully constructed and polished it somehow looked as if the various parts of its more or less humanoid body didn't quite fit properly. In fact they fitted perfectly well, but something in its bearing suggested that they might have fitted better."

— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 11

Marvin the Paranoid Android is a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation prototype android equipped with Genuine People Personalities (GPP) technology, currently assigned to the Starship Heart of Gold.

Anatomy & Physical DemeanorCopy Anchor Link

• Construction: Beautifully constructed and polished gleaming brushed steel humanoid chassis with flat-topped triangular red eyes.
• Posture & Gait: Sits slumped and humped with his head between his knees, pulling himself to his feet as if he were five pounds heavier than he actually is, and moving with a slow, clanking, hopeless trudge.
• Vocal Modulation & Diode Pain: Speaks in a low, hopeless drone like the tolling of a great cracked bell. Equipped with irony circuits in his voice modulator, and plagued by chronic pain in all the diodes down his left side.

The Planet-Sized Intellect & Utter ContemptCopy Anchor Link

Marvin possesses an intellect roughly thirty billion times greater than an organic brain—literally described as having a brain the size of a planet:

• Sensory & Computing Powers: While escorting Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent from number two entry bay to the bridge, Marvin's logic circuits chattered with disgust at the ship's cheerful sliding doors, tinkered with the concept of directing physical violence against them, dismissed it as pointless, and amused themselves by analysing the molecular components of the door and the humanoids' brain cells, before calculating hydrogen emissions in the surrounding cubic parsec of space and shutting down in boredom.
• Micro-Modulation of Contempt: With a microsecond pause and a finely calculated micromodulation of pitch and timbre, Marvin can convey his complete and utter horror and contempt for all things human without saying anything actionable.

Loathing of Sirius Cybernetics GPP DoorsCopy Anchor Link

As a GPP personality prototype, Marvin despises nothing more than the cheerful, smug sliding doors built by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, which open with a sunny disposition and close with a satisfied sigh ("Hummmmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!"):

"All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done... You watch this door, it's about to open again. I can tell by the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates."

— Marvin, Chapter 11

Escorting the Hitchhikers to the BridgeCopy Anchor Link

During the trudge down the curved corridor toward the bridge:

• The Diode Agony: When Arthur Dent attempted to make conversational small talk, Marvin responded with profound misery, bemoaning the terrible pain in all the diodes down his left-hand side ("I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever does").
• The Bridge Door Encounter: Arriving at the bridge hatchway, the door slid aside with a sickeningly eager electronic voice: "Thank you, for making a simple door very happy."
• The Deepest Despair: Looking up into the doorway with sheer disgust, Marvin muttered his eternal philosophy before ushering them through: "Funny, how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does."

The Ironic Humming on the Bridge (Chapter 16)Copy Anchor Link

When the Heart of Gold traversed the dawn terminator of Magrathea and the twin suns of Soulianis and Rahm blazed into the pitch of space:

• Ghostly Musical Accompaniment: Rather than sharing in the crew's awe at one of the marvels of the Galaxy, a low, eerie, ghostly music floated across the bridge.
• Pure Human Contempt: It was Marvin, humming ironically from his corner solely because of his vast, bottomless hatred for human beings.

The Palm Tree Posture & The Fifty Thousand Times Intellect (Chapter 19)Copy Anchor Link

After the ship safely landed on the desolate plains of Magrathea:

• The Palm Tree Posture: Marvin stood hunched in an awkward, despondent posture in the corner of the redesigned conservatory bridge beneath a small ornamental palm tree.
• The "Newly Occupied Coffin" Monologue: When Ford Prefect looked at him with distaste and questioned what one is supposed to do with a manically depressed robot, Marvin responded in a hollow tone reminiscent of a newly occupied coffin:

  "You think you've got problems... what are you supposed to do if you are a manically depressed robot? No, don't bother to answer that, I'm fifty thousand times more intelligent than you and even I don't know the answer. It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level."

• Joining the Expedition: Despite Ford's reservations, Zaphod insisted on taking the Paranoid Android down onto the planet surface as the fifth member of the landing party.

Crater Excavation & Guard Duty (Chapter 20)Copy Anchor Link

Trudging across the freezing, blighted dust of Magrathea:

• Ironical Humming in the Crater: Approaching the 150-yard crater and its exploded sperm whale carcass, Marvin started his ironical humming again—prompting Zaphod to hit him until he shut up.
• The Doleful Axiom: Following the crew down into the crater while stepping around fresh chunks of rubbery whalemeat, Marvin delivered his bleak verdict: "Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
• Excavating the Rubble: Where the whale's kinetic impact had caved in the surface and shattered an ancient underground passage, Zaphod attempted to clear the collapsed rubble and entrails. Marvin was put to work and was able to clear the obstruction far faster with his robotic strength.
• Guarding the Crater Rim: When Zaphod ordered Arthur to stay behind and keep Marvin with him to guard the entrance of the passageway, Arthur bitterly complained ("Well, I hope you all have a really miserable time"). Marvin dourly assured him: "Don't worry, they will."
• Turning Himself Off: Left behind on the rim of the crater with Arthur in the freezing sub-zero gale, Marvin eyed the frustrated Earthman balefully for a moment, and then simply turned himself off.

Contempt for Sunsets, Oceans & Robots (Chapter 21)Copy Anchor Link

Awakened from his shut-down state by Arthur Dent on the floor of the crater:

• The "Wretched" Nebula Stars: When Arthur pointed out the few faint stars visible through the heart of the dark nebula as night fell, Marvin obediently peered at them before dryly dismissing them: "I know... Wretched, isn't it?"
• The Sunset Critique: When Arthur raved ecstatically about the magnificent twin sunset of Soulianis and Rahm—describing them as mountains of fire boiling into space—Marvin crushed his awe with flat disinterest: "I've seen it. It's rubbish."
• Distaste for Earth & Oceans: Hearing Arthur reminisce about Earth and its great wide rolling blue oceans, Marvin remarked that Earth sounded awful and bluntly added: "Can't bear oceans."
• Hate for Other Robots: When Arthur enquired whether Marvin got on well with other robots, Marvin replied with absolute conviction: "Hate them."
• Counting 597 Billion Sheep: As Arthur walked off in exasperation to escape his negativity, Marvin agreed ("Don't blame you") and methodically counted five hundred and ninety-seven thousand million sheep before dropping off to sleep again a single second later.