Eccentrica Gallumbits
The famed triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six. In the pre-revision edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, her entry appeared immediately above the one-word entry for Earth ('Harmless') at the bottom of the screen.
Character Dossier: Eccentrica Gallumbits
"'It doesn't have an entry!' he burst out.
Ford looked over his shoulder.
'Yes it does,' he said, 'down there, see at the bottom of the screen, just under Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six.'"
— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 6
Eccentrica Gallumbits is the famous triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six, one of the most widely cross-referenced personalities in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Index Placement & The Earth Comparison
Because The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy must cover a hundred billion stars in the Galaxy within a limited amount of microprocessor storage space, editorial real estate is allocated strictly according to galactic interest:
- Prominent Billing: Eccentrica Gallumbits and her homeworld of Eroticon Six command immediate recognition across the spaceways.
- The "Best Bang" Epithet: Her celebrity endorsement was quoted across sub-etha news networks following the theft of the Heart of Gold, having once described Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox as the "Best Bang since the Big One."
- The Entry Above Earth: When a traumatized Arthur Dent—six light-years from where Earth had just been vaporized—searched the Guide for his homeworld aboard Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz's flagship, he initially burst out that Earth had no entry at all. Looking over his shoulder, Ford Prefect pointed to the very bottom of the screen, directly underneath Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon Six, where the entire planetary history and civilization of Earth was summarized in the single word: "Harmless" (later expanded by Ford's trimmed field submission to "Mostly harmless").
Arthur Dent
An ordinary Earthling in a faded dressing gown and slippers. Survived the total demolition of his home planet through sheer cosmic coincidence, spending the rest of his existence searching for a proper cup of tea.
Eddie (Sirius Cybernetics Shipboard Computer)
The Sirius Cybernetics Shipboard Computer aboard the Heart of Gold. Permeates every particle of the ship, possessing a brash, relentlessly cheery disposition like a detergent commercial.