Oolon Colluphid
The galaxy's foremost philosophical polemicist and author of the blockbuster theological trilogy Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes, and Who is this God Person Anyway?, as well as the Babel fish bestseller Well That About Wraps It Up For God.
Character Dossier: Oolon Colluphid
"...and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid’s trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes and Who is this God Person Anyway?"
— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Introduction
Oolon Colluphid is celebrated across known civilized space as one of the most prolific, controversial, and outrageously wealthy philosophical authors in galactic history. His celebrated theological trilogy—and his subsequent best-seller on the ontological implications of the Babel fish—revolutionized popular philosophy by directly challenging divine competence and existence.
The Philosophical Trilogy & Follow-Up Bestseller
Published by Big Bang Books and Megadodo's philosophical imprint, Colluphid's works spent hundreds of consecutive weeks atop interstellar bestseller lists:
- Where God Went Wrong: Argues that creating the Universe without preliminary feasibility studies or environmental impact statements was widely regarded as a terrible idea that made a lot of people very angry.
- Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes: Systematically catalogs specific design defects across creation, notably including the platypus, Vogons, and early morning diurnal schedules.
- Who is this God Person Anyway?: The third volume of his controversial trilogy of philosophical blockbusters inquiring into the identity of the supreme being.
- Well That About Wraps It Up For God: The best-selling book that earned Colluphid a small fortune by using the Babel fish proof of the non-existence of God (in which God vanishes in a puff of logic and Man goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing) as its central theme—even though most leading theologians claim the argument is "a load of dingo's kidneys."
Literary Legacy & Lifestyle
Despite receiving formal denunciations from hundreds of galactic ecclesiastical councils, Colluphid's books made him fabulously wealthy, enabling him to purchase private estates across the core sectors and decline all interviews on the grounds that existence itself is an unprovable rumor.
Mr. L. Prosser
A forty-year-old, fat, shabby council official with a stoutness about the tum and a predilection for little fur hats. A direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan plagued by waking visions of burning houses, spears, and shouting horsemen.
Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings
Resident of Greenbridge, Essex, England, and creator of the very worst poetry in the Universe—all of which mercifully perished along with her in the destruction of the planet Earth.