Planet Dossier: TraalCopy Anchor Link

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have... wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you — daft as a brush, but very very ravenous)..."

— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 3

Traal is a cold, brooding, and atmospheric terrestrial planet situated on the edge of the Traal Sector. Characterized by labyrinthine basalt gorges, dense grey lichen forests, and damp, foggy swamps, the planet would likely be completely ignored by the wider galaxy were it not for its most notorious indigenous inhabitant: the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

Planetary Topography & EnvironmentCopy Anchor Link

Traal's geological surface is rugged and unforgiving:

• The Basalt Needles: Soaring volcanic spires and craggy ravines crisscross the temperate zones, perpetually shrouded in low-hanging sulfur-tinged vapor clouds.
• The Moss Caverns: Beneath the razor-sharp crags lie thousands of interconnecting limestone caverns where the Bugblatter Beasts nest, sleep, and enthusiastically wait for passing snacks.
• Atmospheric Precautions: The damp air carries heavy spore concentrations from native mold beds. Interstellar travelers venturing into the lower ravines must always carry a clean Massively Useful Towel to wrap securely around the face to filter out noxious vapors.

The Great Megadodo Editorial ScandalCopy Anchor Link

Traal holds a sacred place in the annals of galactic legal history and editorial negligence:

• The Famous Misprint: In the first revised sub-etha edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, an unfortunate typographical slip in the Traal travel entry claimed that:

  "Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts often make a very good meal for visiting tourists."

• The Lawsuits: Following the untimely digestion of dozens of culinary-minded tourists who landed on Traal with knives and forks, grieving families filed a class-action lawsuit against Megadodo Publications.
• The Verdict: Megadodo’s legal team successfully avoided bankruptcy by invoking the Doctrine of Alternate Realities, brilliantly proving in court that because the universe is infinite, there must exist an alternate dimension where Bugblatter Beasts indeed make a scrumptious seven-course banquet—and therefore the Guide’s entry was technically completely accurate.

Survival Protocol on TraalCopy Anchor Link

If you are unfortunate enough to find yourself face-to-snout with a Bugblatter Beast on the crags of Traal:

1. Do Not Run: The beast is surprisingly fast on its clawed appendages over broken terrain.
2. Deploy Towel: Immediately wrap your towel tightly around your head so that your eyes are completely covered.
3. Stand Still: Because the beast operates on the pure, unshakeable logic that if you cannot see it, it cannot possibly see you, it will assume you have ceased to exist or that it has wandered into another room, and it will shamblingly wander off in search of something else to devour.