Hitchhiker's Travel Toothbrush
A humble handheld oral hygiene wand with synthetic bristles. Automatically assumed by any strag to be in your possession if you are carrying a towel.
Item Specification: Travel Toothbrush
"For some reason, if a strag discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc."
— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 3
The Travel Toothbrush is perhaps the most universally forgotten yet emotionally essential personal hygiene implement in the Galaxy. While interstellar explorers frequently remember their laser blasters, sub-etha transmitters, and emergency field rations, eighty-seven percent of hitchhikers invariably leave their toothbrush resting on their bathroom sink precisely three minutes before their home planet is demolished.
The Strag Towel Assumption Protocol
In galactic psychology, the toothbrush occupies a legendary role in the Strag Assumption:
- The Psychological Mechanism: When a strag (a non-hitchhiker who lives a settled, predictable life) sees an itinerant traveler clutching a clean Massively Useful Towel, their brain refuses to believe the traveler is hopelessly destitute. Instead, they assume the traveler must possess a neatly packed grooming kit including a toothbrush, Face Flannel, and Soap.
- The Loaner Benefit: Because strags are in awe of anyone who can rough it across the star lanes, any hitchhiker who claims to have temporarily "misplaced" their toothbrush will promptly be loaned a brand-new sanitized replacement by the nearest sympathetic starship purser.
Dental Hazards of Deep Space
Maintaining dental hygiene in deep space is fraught with cosmic perils:
- Janx Spirit Corrosion: The fiery acidic residue of Ol' Janx Spirit can pit enamel in seconds if not promptly scrubbed away.
- Pan Galactic Stains: The blue and gold glow from a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster will turn dental surfaces phosphorescent green under nightclub blacklights unless treated with brisk, circular brushing.
Sealed Tin of Biscuits
A colorful, airtight metal tin packed with crunchy, crumbly baked flour biscuits. A quintessential comfort food for wandering hitchhikers and bewildered Englishmen.
Massively Useful Towel
A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Essential for wrapping round for warmth, sleeping under, or hand-to-hand combat.