Item Specification: Pan Galactic Gargle BlasterCopy Anchor Link

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

It says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards."

— The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Chapter 2

Invented by the flamboyant ex-Galactic President and two-headed adventurer Zaphod Beeblebrox, the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is unanimously recognized across all eleven dimensions as the supreme pinnacle of alcoholic alchemy.

The Sacred Alchemy of BeeblebroxCopy Anchor Link

The Guide provides strict instructions on how you can mix one yourself:

1. The Base: Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit (harvested from the asteroid refineries of Orion Beta).
2. The Ocean Element: Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V using fresh Santraginean Sea Water ("Oh, that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!").
3. The Arcturan Gin: Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
4. The Marsh Gas: Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in The Marshes of Fallia.
5. The Hypermint Float: Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint Extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.
6. The Suntiger Reaction: Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger using an authentic Algolian Suntiger Tooth. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
7. The Finishing Flourish: Sprinkle Zamphuor. Add an Olive. Drink... but... very carefully...

Physiological Impact & Medical WarningsCopy Anchor Link

The psychological and neurological consequences of ingesting a Gargle Blaster have been extensively documented by the Interstellar Health Council:

• The "Gold Brick" Phenomenon: The sensory cortex is instantaneously overwhelmed by an explosion of citric acidity followed by a blunt, concussive wave of multi-dimensional euphoria.
• The Two-Drink Maximum: Under Galactic Law, serving more than two Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters to any sentient life form is classified as reckless endangerment, with the sole exception of thirty-ton mega-elephants suffering from bronchial pneumonia.
• Rehabilitation Networks: Several major non-profit organizations exist throughout the Western Spiral Arm solely to assist travelers in remembering their own names, planetary origins, and which way up the universe is after a night on the Blasters.

Premier Service VenuesCopy Anchor Link

• Milliways (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe): Mixed fresh tableside by Master Mixologists while guests gaze out through temporal stasis bubbles at the ultimate collapse of space and time.
• The Terraces of Betelgeuse Seven: Served ice-cold under the blazing scarlet glare of the red supergiant Betelgeuse, traditionally accompanied by raw Arcturan olives and salted peanuts.